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Stella

19yearsold
July12 1989
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Saturday, August 12, 2006 .
7:18 PM

omg!!!!i did smth reali bad today..i'm feeling so bad..guilty..worse..lousy..and as many negative words u can find in the dictionary....haix..i noe u r feeling very sad n hurt n angry..onli dat u nv say out..say u r feeling ok when u r not..haix..i can sense it..argh!!!!y did i say dat..i m reali very very very sorry..wished i could take those words back..bt i noe i cant..*sobx*...i muz have been nuts n possessed to say dat...its all my fault all..tink i was jus too paranoid..cos i fear the day we reali have nth to say.den how..den i came up wif this stupid n dumb idea..tinking dat we may have more to talk aft that..shit man..the idea is simply stupid la..sorry...wat the hell happen to me la..mayb i'm jus so lousy at handling frenships..haix..I'M SUCH A MEAN N BAD GAL!!!!!raaahhhhhhhh......i feel so bad so bad..ok..tis is wat i wanna say to u..sorry..sorry..sorry..sorry..sorry..sorry..sorry..sorry..sorry..sorry..sorry..sorry..sorry..sorry..
sorry..sorry..sorry...sorry..sorry...sorry..sorry...sorry..sorry..sorry..sorry..sorry..sorry...sorry..
sorry..sorry..sorry..sorry..sorry..sorry..sorry..sorry..sorry..sorry..sorry..sorry..sorry...sorry..s
sorry..sorry..sorry..sorry.sorry..haix..although this doesnt amount to infinity...but i reali m very sorry..i noe so many sorry still cant help..cos u wil stil be feeling sad hurt n angry..haix..how i wish i could turn back time and take back wat i jus said..sorry for being such a bad mean worse n insensitive fren...i so sorry..haix..ya..tink the moment u stop feeling sad is the moment i wil nt feel guilty..n i noe i will feel guilty for a long time...haix..i regretted saying dat..sorry..=x




Thursday, August 10, 2006 .
8:49 AM

argh!!!..i need to stuff myself wif lots and lots of choco cake..man..i feel so sad..everything ard us is so fake la..when ppl say tis..in fact they dun even mean it..haix..why izit like dat..m i goin into depression again..wth la..wats wrong wif me..wasn't like dat before...anw..i seem to tink that forever doesn't seem to exist in my book of dictionary..haix..so sad..and i jus realised it ytd..WHY QUESTION FOREVER WHEN IT DOESN'T EXIST IN THE FIRST PLACE??? so sad la..izit my prob..i tink it is..it happened to me once lor..den now its like repeating history again..how how..i predict the same tink will happen again..den?..wat am i supposed to do..mayb wait and see is a good solution..jus like waiting for smth to drop on u and u die...haix..so sad..smth i wonder whether life is as good as we tot it out to be..mayb we are still living in a world of deceit..being so naive..everthing is oh-so-perfect..wat a nice world..nvm..haha..found a reali nice poem.

Losing Friends by Lindsey Ataya

You do not need to tell me
That friends can grow apart
That even the near and dear
May someday break ur heart

The ones that you love now,
Can't guaranteee tomorrow
And the ones that bring you joy
May also bring you sorrow

For although things may seem
Just perfect at the time,
People sometimes change,
And keave your heart behind

You do not need to tell me
I've been through it all enough
I know just what it feels like
To lose someone you love

Whether it's a buddy or a pal
A confidante or best friend
It's the pain of losing them
That's too much to mend

And now i'm really scared
It's happening once again
I know that I am losing
One of my best friends
.
.
.
.
.
.

haha..lazy to write all out.very long..hehe..anw..tis poem is true..haha..althoug nt as dramatic as wat she rote..anw..jus wanna say i enjoyed my day out ytd..haha..the 7 sects rawkx!yeah man!hope we will always remain best frens and nt drift apart..glad to have ur as frens..=]